A delicious, delicious cornucopia of fail.

Today’s recommendation: Gimme Pizza.

Preface: Ever since I was a child, I’ve had a real problem with different food items touching on my plate. I would also make a huge production out of making sure that I kept everything separated at all times. Holiday dinners were always the worst, purely due to the volume of food. While my family members would be piling their plates high, intermingling everything, I’d be the one carefully compartmentalizing my plate – I’d need to make sure that the corn was not in the mashed potatoes, et cetera. I know the old argument – it all gets mixed together after you swallow it anyway. My counter argument, though, has always been that your taste buds are on your tongue, and that you can’t taste it once it’s mixed together in your stomach. I’ve relaxed a bit on this, but I still have a tendency to compartmentalize my plate when preparing it. I wonder if my fascination with this video is in any way linked to this tendency.



I don’t know what to say about this that you can’t piece together by yourself after watching it. And watch it you must, although you may have some sort of violent physiological reaction to the very idea of watching it. True enough that this stuff is anathema to most sane people. But trust me on this one. You must watch. And watch. And watch again.

During the first viewing, you are likely petrified in horror and revolt. You want to look away, yet you can’t. The clip has an odd magnetism about it. During the second viewing, you find that the maddening refrain has caused you to start involuntarily tapping your foot or nodding your head. By the eighteenth viewing, you are starting to come to terms with the fact that you have a problem. Hopefully, somebody who cares about you has already initiated an intervention.

This clip comes from one of the Olsen Twins’s video releases, You’re Invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley’s Sleepover Party. I have seen the entire video, and this is the most noteworthy sequence on the video. I don’t think I can properly articulate why I love this video so much, and consequently I will not try. I just want to bring a few things to your attention:

• Was the cameraman really standing in a rowboat on a choppy sea while filming this?
• RACIAL STEREOTYPE ALERT: note that it is the token African American girl who suggests the fried chicken. Just sayin’.
• Those “fried green tomatoes” are not fried. At all.
• “We’ve got mega munchies.” I don’t think I need to comment on this.

That is all. Nothing else needs to be said, as the video speaks for itself. Enjoy. Discuss. Rinse. Repeat.